Tick tock, tick tock… Have you ever heard the saying, a watched clock never moves? Welcome to my world.
My life is a waiting game. Every single day when I wake up, I find myself counting down the days on an internal calendar. The problem is, the calendar I reference on a daily basis does not have that big red X on it that indicates an end date. You know the date that says, “Today is the day!” You made it. Instead, I know I am looking at years of waiting for the day when we can be free of the rat race of life on land. I am at the mercy of my husbands’ dreams. I have to wait until he has the same epiphany I had about a year ago.
My epiphany goes a little something like this…I realized I am so fed up with the mentality of society as a whole. I had to break it down as simple as I could to make it all make sense. Here it goes. First, we as a society have such a horrible case of the “It’s all about me” mentality. Now, I know, that my fancy pants diagnosis is not real, however, it should be! Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but, more often than not, people are watching out for número uno! Second, we make decisions on a daily basis based on fear. The fear of the unknown, can be pretty scary, but, c’mon we have been trained to question everything about everything. We can’t even just eat dinner without being afraid of how they raised the chicken. We certainly can’t get on a plane without fearing God forbid, the plane goes down. As I am writing this post, a passenger next to me is having a conversation with the third person in our row. He stated that he could not and would not put a swimming pool in his back yard. Why? Because he did not want a roaming kid to randomly wander into his gated and locked backyard, possibly fall into the pool and then by chance drown while he was at it. We are afraid of what might happen, but even more so, by lawsuits. He was an attorney and has just seen way too much of an abused system. We have a way of feeling the need to cater to the minority, just to steer clear of a lawsuit that is based on discrimination. We are afraid they might win. F.E.A.R. Is taking over our society and sneaking into everyone’s every move.
Incredulously, I have to make conscious decision’s on a daily basis to prioritize God, my husband, my children and then my extended family and friends. It used to come pretty easy to me. But, I have to admit, the overwhelming amount of information that I have to sift through myself has become tiresome. I call it an information overload. I am working even harder to “gatekeep” everyday things from my four younger children. So many things that have become acceptable in today’s society, that would have blown a parents mind just 10 years ago, is amazing. Not amazing in a good way. It is sad. Parents spend so much time using electronics as babysitters. My eight year old said that ten year olds need phones according to a kid she does theater with. The simple explanation was it helps you with homework (the calculator) and when you get lost (?????) you can call your parents. It was just last year that I heard parents general consensus was no cell phones until the kid was about 13. But this year the age apparently has dropped to ten?!?! I want to get away from all of this. I want my kids to play kick the can and red rover. I don’t want them constantly asking for the iPad. They don’t even get to watch television or go to public school. I want their curriculum to be geographically worldly. I want them to learn by seeing not by reading about it in some tired old textbook, taught via common core.
Every day I encounter another sad story about someone’s rights being taken away.
My husband is moving up so quickly in his profession, that he wants to stick it out until he makes it to the top of his line of work. He is just finishing up his Master’s degree and wants to be able to put his degree to use. He also dreams of making the transition to a cruising family, just not on the fast track, like I do. He is more content with the slow track, that has the retirement attached to it. He is more in tune with the conservative, well thought out path. I, on the other hand, am more of a free spirit. I am ready to get out there and let’s the chips fall as they may. Although I have some sort of plan, I am more of the palm tree. I go with the wind. So, until I have the date set in stone I sit and I wait. And wait. And wait.